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Contradicting Fat people
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(This is concerning a religion). A very enjoyable, short list of rules in order to join the long-awaited religion of 'Phlapism'. Created by Stuart, also known (as i like to call him) as the guy who took 53 deep breaths and was unlucky enough not to pass himself out. Seriously guys, what would we do without people like him?! Click the link below.

Phlapism - some interesting rules created by Stuart

STUART'S EVALUATION IS RELEASED! (Click link below)

Stuart's Evaluation

Index.

Home - Lard.

Music Mixes - speaks for itself, rip offs of lyrics and converted into the lard like style

Fat people - Whats with all these fat people today?

School - Various schooling issues

Earth - Our planet as it excists today

Fat Tributies - Some contributes from local fatners

Products - Unfinished - may be deleted

Rival - My story.

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Updates
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Hello, you filthy fat waste of spaces. Welcome to my SUPER fat site. I am fat, but I'm motivated enough to type. This site is about world events, fat stories, the debate over my fatness, the government, my fattish stories, and many other fat suprises. Feel free to click things on the slighly overweighted-with-lard navigation. I am aware that this site is rusty. This is because I have been seduced to using the "HTML" which is a waste of time, life, and dignity. I do not know how to use this, and will not try to learn it. Suck my piss, shitlips.

04/08/06
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Is it just me, or are electrical doors which open by motion sences becoming more and more popular? I for one PRAISE these inventories! if I see a normal door which is to be opened by force, I usually stroll around the door playing with my flab until someone walks past and opens the door for themselves, from then I will slyly shove my foot in the gap (it's a very big gap - for my feet are tremendously lardy, so the door requires no pushing), and then I just walk through basically. But as for these electrical doors, I can just walk through them without having to pull my flab through the doorway WHILE pushing the door with outstandingly effortful force. I praise the inventor of this. Now, this site will be moved to a .TK site, as it supports HTML (this shit doesn't) and I may be joining forces with www.MelvinHarris.tk to create the flabbiest site you're EVER going to encounter. As Melvin continues to merge forces with Lard.net, us 3 forces joined together will be legendary.

03/08/06
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Sorry about the long break, the lardishly delightful summer holidays have not long ago started, may the lard be with you! I should update this site more if I remember, as I now have more spare time on my hands (to lard around with).
AMAZING! Gnasher (the creator of MelvinHarris.TK has discovered a very interesting site called Lard.net where chaps against healthy foods are selling lardy treats for all you fat people. Check it's Chops.

11/06/06
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Daily grease:
This is what we do on an average tuesday.. well me anyway.
Pastoral: Shitfuck
Science: Laughing throughout the whole lesson talking to Stuart
Food Tech: Stealing oven compartments, cooking paper, ignoring miss, reuniting as a group (after miss seperated us) - our teacher is fat and welsh, and has a tatoo for an eyebrow
Art: Shitties
Maths: Fucktard
English: Shitflap

??/05/06
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Clayton admits he never stops eating doritoes.
FACT: Clayton eats 5 packs every day
FACT: He is a stick.. suprisingly

06/06/06
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Blimey, it's a hellish day today. The 6th of the 6th, Oh six. At 6 minutes and 6 seconds past 66, I had a rush to run to my castle fridge to serve up some crap-cakes. I cried, as I struggled to move, yes, it's dreadful, since the last update, i've gained approximately 372 stones. ALSO please contact me if you wish for a downloadable version of my fat music rip-offs. Another complaint to add to your chops: "Dear...(coming soon)"

24/05/06
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It's been a long time, but 'Incubus - Drive (fat version)' lyrics is on release, alongside other song edits in the making. Check out my 'Music Mix' page. ALSO, I'd like to complain about an ASDA clensing product. The green shower gel, of which the name i'm not sure of, is surely a recreation, or perhaps a RIP-OFF of the radox shower gel. At first I thought it was radox, but then i realsed the hook was shit, it kept falling, along with the "tub" of shower gel, which could've fatally injured my feet/toes. I would like to sue you for approximately 25,000 in a cheque. If not, then I would suggest you prepare to clean out your chocolate section (bellys gonna getcha), and I'm not paying for it either.

21/04/06
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The Queen's birthday! Not that anyone acutally realised it; and that I cared.. but i thought I'd just say if the queen was in my year, i'd be older than her, and i'd bully her because she would've refused to excessively gain weight avec moi (with me). Secondly, I'd like to let out a complaint for a carpet stain removal company called 'Vanish Oxy-Action'. This should be forwarded to the company themselves: "Dear Vanish Oxy-Action, I am complaining that I was waiting 1 hour and 23 minutes for the foam to settle, after repetatively (as shown in advert) spraying it over some "Swishy's black, black-current", whereas afterwards I realise your video of the foam fading away is clearly sped up to at least 30 times the respective default speed. I am outraged and would like a refund, plus 250 cans of this product, Thank you."

17/04/06
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INCOMING!!! Don't panic, i'm not going to bake a sterile eggy wet-one. Just informing you of a story in the making (while my fat fingers can last... they are like predictable saussage meat stuck onto a balloon filled with lard).. which should be on release within a mere few days. Suck my roll's rolls, and kiss my piss.

11/04/06
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Was gonna tell you something special, not going to now, incase of pedos. Suck it: www.poopyjoe.com/joke.htm

7/04/06
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Welcome to my fat website. This month, you may call me: Jesus. This site is based on world events, issues which were caused from the lack of control by the government, and, yes, of course; the major debate over how fat I am. Excuse me for any of my super fat typing errors, my fingers are like lard on sticks.

Latest News from the Fatness corp:

- I've discovered the invertory not too long ago, of the fat analyser. It tells me that I am 15% fat. Seconds later, I realised I was reading it upside down, and I am 51% Fat - more than half of me is made of flubber-lard.

- I wouldn't want to live in a world made of chocolate, as I would have a heartthrown-overmass, due to running around exceeding my stamina, causing a 'happy', yet very painful heart attack of death.

Really fat updates:

This site is the result of iron put into water. I shall attempt to lift my fat arms up, to navigate my mouse, and edit this site every few days. Go to the top of this page for my FATTEST updates yet.

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Super Fat Stuffs 2006
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7/04/06
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Fat ass 06:

Renamed this section for a bit of pleasure towards those rolls, under rolls, under rolls. Anyway, the dates are the other way round on this section, fattest updates ever will be discovered at the bottom of the page or so. I'm sweating already just from typing this very small section. But it's not a suprise, don't be suprised guys, it's just the reinforcement of reality, telling me to excersize. I look at reality in the face and say "Fuck off, Fat people rule".

I've noticed that diets do not work. I am very fat, myself, and have tried dieting more than 78 times, and failed, making me eat more.

"What you eat is what you are". If this would true, I'd have eaten my self years ago.. mmmmm, chocolate lard.

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I have discreately aqquired a photograph of a super fat ass cat, which I cleverly stole from the Area 51 site, which only allows users to access with a certain I.P address.. I cheated. I'm not completely sure if it's the guy that's on display rather than the cat?

16/4/06
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EASTER!!!!!!!!!! As you may have guessed, yes easter is the most significant day of my life, chocolate, PURE, PURE CHOCOLATE!!! Here are two pictures of how I ate a mini cream egg. The time span is about 7 seconds.

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Egg at 0 seconds

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Egg 7 seconds later

We all have our opinions.. mine is: You're fat.